I Guess I Blinked…

24 Jul

So, it’s been a while since my last post. I would be surprised if people even remember that I write this blog. I began it as a way to keep writing and sometimes, on a very good day, the clouds would part and I would say something that meant a lot to someone else.

Then I stopped.

The truth is – I stopped a lot of things. I stopped writing about anything that mattered to me. I stopped working at a job I had for 10 years and a few months after that I stopped being married. In a matter of 5 months the two longest relationships of my life – both merely weeks a part in duration – were gone. If you are looking for the who, what, where, when, why – you can stop reading. You won’t find it here. If you know me, and are looking back at something insensitive or stupid my ex or I said thinking you predicted the unraveling of my marriage you can stop reading. You don’t know shit anyway. If you are reading this to feel superior on your throne and thinking it won’t ever happen to you, you can stop reading too. Truth is – you know even less than the fortune-tellers.

So, who is left?

Me.

I guess I blinked and missed the giant tsunami aiming for my head. I stopped trying to run and check. Stopped trying to stay ahead of the game. It’s an interesting thing when you stop. Either everything else stops because you were the only one moving forward or the machine keeps on moving, making you realize that you weren’t as important as you thought.

But the funny thing about stopping is that sooner or later you have to start again. So that’s what I’ll do. I’ll throw on my party hat and celebrate a very merry unbirthday to me.

The tasks I juggle may change. The balls in the air may multiply. I may never be the same again. But maybe that will end up being the most interesting thing about me after all. Besides, I really do like tea.

2 Responses to “I Guess I Blinked…”

  1. David July 24, 2012 at 2:39 pm #

    I am glad you’ve started writing again.

  2. Nancy Becker July 24, 2012 at 7:35 pm #

    Ahhhh….to stop takes tremendous courage and to discover the unfathomable ‘you’ …what a treasure! Please write and share! You are such a gift!

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