To Guilt or Not to Guilt?

25 Oct

Motherhood is the new Catholic. We all feel guilty and often ask forgiveness through the consumption of wine. But as a very wise woman once told me, “if you don’t think you’re good enough, maybe you should let Jesus get off the cross for a while and get up there yourself.” Did I mention that I adore this woman? She has come to me during a time that I need guidance and done it with a crazy amount of humor.

Mothers are born to worry. We worry that our decisions will have unforeseen repercussions. Sometimes we know what the repercussions will be and hope that we have the strength and grace to deal with it. When our baby is first born, most of us are consumed with being “Mom”. Admit it, even on date night (if you were lucky enough to go on one), you spoke about your baby.

Sooner or later the part of you that got stuck in the back of the closet pokes its head out and asks, “Psst—remember me? Is it time to come out yet?” You may look her in the eye and not recognize her. How can that person possibly come back out when you have been permanently changed? Will you let her whither up and die? Or perhaps, you may need to get reacquainted. All relationships go through change. Why not the most important one—the one you have with yourself? But that takes work and time too. Decisions, decisions…What will you do?

And the guilt sets in.

You either feel guilty for ignoring your needs as an individual or you feel guilty for occasionally putting yourself first. It doesn’t matter what you choose because you will always wonder if there is a better way.

In a recent article in Working Mother, a handful of moms spoke about the drawbacks of being a stay-at-home mom vs. those of a working mom. Guess what? We aren’t so different from each other. It stated that “48 percent of working mothers and 42 percent of those at home say they feel guilty about not taking care of themselves.”

We need to recognize and appreciate what we bring to the table and stop comparing ourselves to others. So now, let me ask you again. Are you doing an okay job being you?

Because let’s face it. NOBODY has as much sex as Cosmo seems to think. I mean seriously – who has the time? And if you do – no need to make me feel bad about it. We’re not comparing, remember? Sheesh. *Cough Nympho*

Mad Hatter Tips for Domestic Juggling

What worked this week…

Finally uploaded the IPod I won a couple months ago. I love
rediscovering my female empowerment through Pink and Lady Gaga. Seriously, try it some time. You can turn on Debussy and feel like a grown up later, I promise.

Monkey wrench…

I forgot the grown up part and slept through my alarm…making my daughter an hour late for school. She asked if she was going to get into trouble and, I must say, she looked a little too smug when I explained that I was the one in trouble.

One Response to “To Guilt or Not to Guilt?”

  1. Barbara November 3, 2011 at 1:09 am #

    Who is that woman, I think I could use her advice too

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