If I lived in the world prior to digital clocks, I would hear the clock striking 3 AM. I can’t sleep again. My subconscious keeps hitting me over the head at the same time two or three times a week. I’m not terribly surprised—just frustrated. How does one get to the point where something they used to love dearly, suddenly feels like it’s suffocating the life out them? How does that happen? What line did I not realize I had crossed?
If I’m having a mid-life crisis now, does it mean that I’ll be dead at 72? I haven’t done half of the things I had dreamed about doing.
One of the things children do for you is mark time. One morning you wake up with an adorable infant, blink at lunchtime and suddenly hear your petulant teenager slam their bedroom door at dinner. You feel the same inside and can even fool yourself in front of the mirror. However, seeing your children change and grow in front of your eyes will not be ignored. Where had the time gone? Did I mean for it to pass in a series of board meetings, PTA events and sitting in traffic?
No, of course not. So now the question remains…what am I going to do about? Am I brave enough?
What worked this week…
I actually had someone come in and completely organize my pantry with Tupperware. The upside is that it’s insanely clean and tidy. I feel in control again.
My mother was right. I have no food.