I recently became a “Fan” of Mom’s that Drink and Swear on Facebook and couldn’t help but reflect on why I was hitting the “like” button. It isn’t as if I planned on getting drunk in front of my kid or telling her to “Go the F to Sleep so Mommy can get her groove on.” I also doubt that’s why the page was created. So why?
It’s just so easy to forget that we are more than the labels that we choose to wear on our sleeve: Mom, Wife, Colleague. Or one step further: Working Mom, Stay at Home Mom. Sometimes it’s nice to know that we don’t have to be a model thin mother with a picture perfect life. Life doesn’t work that way. It’s perfect because we have it….and that’s about it. There is nothing else that could possibly be tagged as perfect and the sooner that we realize everyone else has various elements of their life that fall short, the sooner we will stop trying to make everything so picture perfect.
Don’t get me wrong—I will have to revisit this blog and as a reminder more than once. Or I will just go outside and yell the F word while downing a bottle of Pinot – depends on the day and if I’m getting along with my neighbors or not.
Mad Hatter Tips for Domestic Juggling
What worked this week…
Work is in high gear and my daughter usually notices enough to want more attention than normal. It’s a balancing act that is exhausting. However, I made the time to go to a college reunion and visit with long-lost friends and old haunts. In short – it was a blast. It also reminded me that I am more than the day-to-day drudgery that life often hands me and that some people will always be your friends – no matter how much time has passed, weight you’ve gained, marriages and divorces that have happened and of course the wonderful children that come into the picture. So this is my tip to you today:
Get Yourself Some Girlfriends
Young and newly married, I relaxed under a pecan tree on a hot summer day, drinking iced tea and getting
to know my new sister-in-law, Estelle. Not much older than I, but already the mother of three, Estelle seemed to me experienced and wise.
“Get yourself some girlfriends” she advised, clinking the ice cubes in her glass. “You are going to need girlfriends.
Go places with them; do things with them.”
What a funny piece of advice, I thought. Hadn’t I just gotten married? Hadn’t I just joined the couple-world?
I was a married woman, for goodness sake, not a young girl who needed girlfriends.
But I listened to this new sister-in-law. I got myself some girlfriends. As the years tumbled by, one after another,
I gradually came to understand that Estelle knew what she was talking about. I remembered that she had said the word
“girlfriends” with emphasis.
As I went along, I discovered the subtle difference between friends and girlfriends.
You go to work with friends, go to dinner with friends, go to church with friends, belong to clubs with friends.
You send friends greeting cards.
You need friends in your life; all girlfriends were once only friends. But a girlfriend is different.
I offer this praise of girlfriends.
Here is what I know about girlfriends: Girlfriends don’t compete. Girlfriends bring casseroles and scrub
your bathroom when you are sick. Girlfriends keep your children and keep your secrets.
Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it, sometimes you don’t. Girlfriends don’t always
tell you that you’re right, but they’re always honest.
Girlfriends still love you, even when they don’t agree with your choices. Girlfriends might send you a birthday card,
but they might not. It does not matter in the least.
Girlfriends laugh with you, and you don’t need canned jokes to start the laughter. Girlfriends pull you out of jams.
Girlfriends don’t keep a calendar that lets them know who hosted the other last. Girlfriends will give a party
for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby in whichever order that comes!
And girlfriends are there for you, in an instant and truly, when the hard times come. Girlfriends listen when you lose
a job or a husband. Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.
Girlfriends listen when your parents’ minds and bodies fail. My girlfriends bless my life. Once we were young,
with no idea of the incredible joys or the incredible sorrows that lay ahead.
It makes all the difference.